This ain't Kansas
by Marion Hood
Summary: Castiel is thrown from his universe in a desperate bid to save his life. Where he crash lands is very similar to the backseat of the Impala. Well...almost.


Crossing into a parallel universe is, by the laws of physics, technically impossible.

However angels don't _actually_ follow the laws of physics. Physics is an untruth made up by mankind to explain the universe around them. Angels follow the laws of divinity, which are considerably more flexible when it comes to impossibility. Especially when you've got an extremely determined Archangel on your side.

Unfortunately for Castiel there was not much striding from parallel to parallel and a lot more falling like a comet from the sky.

Directly, as it happened, onto the back seat of a 1967 Chevy Impala owned by one Dean Winchester.

* * *

"All right. Thanks officer, we'll be more careful."

The large black car peeled away from the curb, picking up speed until it was almost flying down the tarmac.

"Thirty seven." One of its occupants commented.

"Huh?" The other asked grumpily, clenching their hands around the steering wheel.

"That's the thirty seventh time a cop has pulled you over to warn you about letting your car get away from you."

"Bunch of scumbag assholes."

"Yeah, Dean. Tell me how you really feel."

"Shut it, Sam."

The back of the Impala dipped suddenly as a large weight fell into the back seat and the sent of scorched leather filled the air. The car swerved suddenly, before screeching to a halt as its driver twisted to look.

"Dean..." The figure in the dirty trench coat groaned.

* * *

Castiel stared at the dirty blond driving the Impala. He'd been in the back seat often enough to recognise it, right down to the army man jammed in the ashtray. The blond however, was new.

Her hair was probably just below shoulder length and tied up in a messy bun on the back of her head. She wore a large plaid shirt over a tight t-shirt, which showed physical qualities Dean was definitely incapable of. She was also pointing a very familiar gun at his head.

"I'm looking for Dean Winchester." he said, pushing himself up. Two guns followed him as he did so.

"Well you found her." The tall brunette said warily. Like her counter part she wore a t-shirt with "_Stanford U_" printed on the front. Her long hair was tucked back behind her ears as she glared at him.

Castiel stared at them.

And then kept staring.

And then narrowed his eyes, looking beyond their physical forms. No matter the universe, Dean Winchester's soul was unchangeable. Apparently the same could _not_ be said for his gender.

"You are Dean Winchester?" He asked cautiously.

She glowered at him.

"And you are one explanation away from being a sieve, so start talking. Who the hell are you?"

Yes. That was Dean.

"My name is Castiel. I am an Angel of the Lord."

Both women scowled.

"No such thing." Dean slowly opened her door, not taking her gun off him. "Come outside and we'll talk."

He sighed and flew outside, not bothering to open the door.

"I'm sorry, I must borrow you."

He put two fingers to her forehead and flashed them out of there. No sooner than they'd landed, Dean put three bullets in his chest. Shortly followed by a knife. She blinked at him for a moment, before nodding to herself and running away.

"SAAAAAAM!"

Castiel waited for her to realise they were on an island and set about fixing his coat, repairing the bullet holes and the scorched fabric.

Then he remembered that this was Dean Winchester he was dealing with and she was probably attempting to swim away.

He found her, five minutes later, on the beach, staring speculatively at the horizon.

"Where are we?"

"A small island in the Pacific Ocean." He paused. "I must talk with you."

"Yeah, I got that." She watched him uneasily. "What the hell kind of a demon are you?"

He scowled, taking the insult at face value.

"I am an Angel."

She rolled her eyes.

"You're going to stick with that one. Really?"

Castiel would have manifested his wings, but he suspected that the effect would have been somewhat lost in the bright sunlight.

"Believe what you will." He said instead. "I have been sent to find you."

"Yep I got that too. Crazy ass weirdo." She added darkly. "You better not have scorched my seats or I swear I'll kill you."

"What year is it?"

She frowned.

"2006. How drunk are you?"

"I have not imbibed of alcohol. Gabriel sent me from my universe into yours in order to help you."

She stared at him.

"I wish that was the strangest thing I'd heard this week." She pinched the bridge of nose and glared at him. "Why?"

"I do not know. He wouldn't tell me. What is your name?"

"Deanna Winchester."

"Like your grandmother. And your sister...she was Samantha?"

"How did you know that?" Deanna demanded, tightening her grip on her knife.

"I told you..."

"Forget it."

Deanna paused, watching the surf.

"This universe you were from...did you know me?"

"Yes." He said honestly. "We were friends."

"Friends?" She said incredulously.

"Yes." He repeated.

"Prove it. Tell me something only a _friend_ of mine would know."

Castiel frowned and seemed to think about it.

"You sing a song about rambling in the shower." He paused. "Loudly."

She blanched.

"How the hell did you know that?"

"Sam used to complain about it."

She narrowed her eyes.

"Then how come you didn't recognise me?"

"You look different."

She gave him an incredulous look.

"Sixteen Fed agents would disagree with you."

"The Dean Winchester I knew wasn't...female."

Deanna laughed.

"You're kidding?"

"I would not joke about this." He said, watching as she traced letters in the sand with her foot.

"I always said to Sam we should've been born boys."

"You were born as God intended. There is nothing wrong with being female."

She gave him an arch look and chuckled.

"I'm just saying it your Dean must have had it easier. My dad always wanted boys, didn't make much of a secret of it when we were growing up. He dressed us up in guys clothes for most of our childhood. Not to complain, I mean it was cheaper and all, but me and Sam didn't have a bra between us until I was almost seventeen. Used to bounce all over the place. One of the female hunters we ran into took pity on us and took us shopping."

The angel flushed.

"What?" She winked at him. "My underwear making your halo uncomfortable?"

Castiel fixed his gaze on the horizon.

"I should return you to your sister."

Deanna scowled as he flashed them back to the outskirts of Baltimore.

"DEAN!"

Castiel was knocked out of the way as Sam barrelled past him, long hair flowing behind her.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." Deanna batted Sam's hands away. "We need to get out of here though."

Sam scowled, turning to glare at Castiel.

"What about him?"

Deanna crossed her arms under her breasts.

"He's not coming with us."

Castiel frowned slightly but nodded.

"I will find you again." He promised and vanished.

* * *

"Hurry up." Deanna barked. "We need to leave."

"Dean, my hair isn't dry! I can't leave like this."

There was a pause as Deanna wondered whether or not the Sammy Cas had known would still be such a whiny bitch. They probably had been exactly the same to be honest.

"Just do what I do." She yelled back. "You can stick your head out of the window when we get going."

Samantha stuck her head out of the bathroom, a towel still wrapped around her hair, looking disgusted.

"That..." She said pointing to where Deanna's blond hair was held in a wet knot at the back of her head. "Is a mess. And it's gross." She scowled. "Sometimes I can't believe you're my sister."

"Car. Five minutes."

She dragged the last bag to the car and flung it in the truck.

"Shoulda traded her in for Joseph." She muttered, drumming her fingers on the bonnet.

Speaking (or thinking) of the weirdo psudo-angel, they hadn't seen him again. The incident on the island had been six days ago and they were four states and two successful hunts away by now. There was no way he was going to catch up to them.

"I need your help."

"SON OF A..." Deanna slammed her fist into the roof of her baby and tried to calm her heart. "What the hell did you do that for?"

She turned and blinked at the angel who was a scarce three inches behind her. "And could you back up a little?"

"I apologise." Castiel took a large step backwards. "I need your help." He repeated.

"Yeah, I heard." Deanna bit her lip. "Why?"

"I don't understand."

"Why me? There's a whole world of people out there, why me?"

Castiel blinked innocently.

"I know you."

"No. You don't." Deanna made an irritated gesture. "You think you know a parallel version of me, who has a dick. And darlin' I ain't him."

He rolled his eyes, which almost made her laugh.

"I know your soul." He said, as though that explained everything. "I need to find Gabriel. I have been unable to in my search so far and I hoped you would help me." He tipped his head to the side, looking curious. "I have never been taller than you before. It is a strange sensation."

Deanna, self-conscious about her height at the best of times, scowled.

"Shut up. You mean the archangel, right? Well I'm sorry Mr Deluded, but there ain't no such thing."

Castiel actually groaned. He felt the situation deserved it.

"You lack faith." He murmured sadly.

Deanna snorted.

"Well, duh."

"He is in hiding as a Trickster."

Deanna frowned, chewing her lip.

"Hang on." She rummaged in the book of the car and came up with her fathers journal. "Trickster...trickster. Could've sworn Dad mention somethin' to me...Ah ha!" she smoothed the page out, only tensing slightly when Castiel moved closer to read over her shoulder. "Tricksters: see Coyote, Loki. Helpful as always, Dad." She grabbed Samantha's laptop and headed back inside the motel. "What's his M.O?" she called back.

"You're going to help me?"

She nodded, brushing her hair out of her eyes distractedly. "You're cute to look at, but I really don't want you hanging around. If this'll make you leave us the hell alone then yeah, I'll help you."

There was a small shriek and the bathroom door slammed.

"Is your sister scared of angels?" Castiel asked, confused.

"Nah. She just has a thing about being seen with wet hair."

* * *

"So get this..." Samantha navigated the web pages with an ease that still amazed Castiel. "There was a CEO of a cosmetics company, who was shampooed to death. He had a fetal reaction to his own products. A serial killer who drowned in...well cereal. There's a chain of coincidences and wacky deaths going back years, I don't know how we never stumbled across this guy before." She gave Castiel an incredulous look. "And you're sure this guy's an angel?"

Samantha was the only one out of the two sisters who believed in angels, but Castiel supposed his brother had always been beyond belief.

"Gabriel, Archangel of Judgement and the Messenger of God. Yes, I am sure."

Deanna rolled her eyes.

"When's the most recent one?"

Samantha typed furiously.

"Er...Army Sargent, weapons specialist. Several complaints of indecent assault by junior officers, mostly female. He was shot in the..." Samantha's lips twitched slightly. "Er...crotch, when he was loading his weapon. Bled to death on the floor. Army ruled it as an accident. But look at this..." She turned the laptop so they could see the picture. It was a black and white shot of the Army base and Castiel's attention was immediately drawn to the man with swept back hair, a dog and a smirk. "This was taken this morning."

* * *

"Some things never change." Castiel muttered. He glowered at the car. "Like you for example."

"Are you sassing my car?" Deanna asked, incredulous.

Castiel frowned.

"I have never understood Dean's attachment to such a machine. I could easily have taken him where ever necessary."

Deanna's eyes narrowed and she trailed a hand over the roof.

"Don't listen to him, Baby." She crooned, before her voice turned hard. "You're in the back seat, by the way. I ain't letting you fly me anywhere."

* * *

Samantha had turned around completely in the front seat to stare at Castiel. Deanna was focusing on speeding towards the base, traffic laws be damned.

"So you knew us in a parallel universe?" She breathed, looking amazed.

"I did."

"That amazing. I mean that these universes exist. There could be hundreds out there. It's like that theory, where..."

"Geek." Deanna muttered, earning herself a glare from her sister. Samantha changed tactic.

"What did I look like?" she asked, twirling a strand of chestnut hair around her finger.

Castiel seemed to consider the question.

"You were tall. Taller than you are now. Long hair. Male."

"Huh." Samantha frowned. "And Deanna?"

"Male."

She rolled her eyes.

"And..."

"He was taller than me. Short hair. Delicate features. Eyes of a shade similar to a pine tree in spring."

A pause followed this statement as Deanna very determinedly _didn't_ blush and Samantha smirked. The smirk faded slightly as a thought occurred to the younger Winchester.

"Did I...uh...Did I know Jess?" She asked quietly. Deanna tensed slightly in the drivers seat.

Castiel nodded.

"Sam didn't tell me much about her. I believe it was too painful to talk about."

"So she died?" The sorrow in Samantha's tone made Deanna heart clench. She hated seeing her baby sister hurt.

"She was killed. Yes."

"If Sam met Jess, then our lives are running parallel?" Samantha guessed.

"Some souls are just meant to find each other." Castiel said softly. "Such as Jessica and Sam. She was not male in this universe?"

Deanna chuckled.

"Nah. Gave me a bit of a shock when I turned up and found out Sam was dating a chick." She shrugged and fixed him with a glare in the rear view mirror. "Ain't nothing wrong with being bi." She added seriously.

* * *

"He'll be blonde, small..."

"Eats a crapload of candy, we know." Deanna loaded her gun and stuffed a knife down her boot. "We'll split up, search the building, yell out if we see him."

Castiel had assured them that Gabriel would hang around for sometime to see the aftermath of the prank and all though Deanna was unwilling to take him at his word, she didn't want to wait for this guy to strike again.

Samantha paused in the doorway of the Sargent's office, where a janitor was staring out the window, eating a candy bar. Samantha walked up to him, knocking on the desk as she passed to get his attention.

Gabriel looked up. And then kept looking up because Samantha topped six feet without heels and his head only reached her chest.

"_Hello _gorgeous."

Samantha gave a long suffering sigh and flicked her hair over her shoulder.

"Not another one." She groaned. "DEAN! I've found him."

Deanna wandered lazily around the corner, knife held loosely in one hand.

"Hello."

Gabriel looked between them, squinted at Deanna and wrinkled his nose.

"Nah. I think I'll stick with the Amazon here."

"That's okay, darlin'." Deanna smirked at him. "We're not the one's looking for you. Castiel..." She sing songed.

Castiel appeared with a flap of wings, eyes narrowed on Gabriel.

"Brother." He said pointedly.

Gabriel looked surprised.

"How the hell did you find me? And who are you?" Gabriel sniffed. "And where are you from, cos you ain't from from this neighborhood."

"My name is Castiel. You sent me to find you."

A truly wicked smirk crossed the archangel's face.

"What's the password?"

Castiel went pink and fiddled with the buckle on his trench coat.

"Please do not make me say it."

Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows.

Castiel mumbled something under his breath that Deanna couldn't pick up.

"I can't hear you." Gabriel challenged, folding his arms.

"Yes, you can. Your senses are far superior to a human's."

Again with the eyebrow wiggle.

"And the Angel of the Lord came down from Heaven and spake that holy commandment, thou doth shaketh that which thy mother gave thee." Castiel looked pained as the sisters snickered. "That is blasphemy." He pointed out.

"Does it look like I care?"

It didn't.

Gabriel glanced around the room. "All right, I am _not_ doing this here." He snapped his fingers.

"Now did I send me a message?" Gabriel asked, as the Winchester girls clutched their knees in a desperate effort not to be sick onto their motel room floor.

Castiel nodded and the shorted angel pressed two fingers to his forehead, frowning.

"Damn. Other me was such a downer." He stepped back, giving the room a disgusted look. "Would it kill you two not to stay somewhere lice infested. Seriously?"

"Douchebag." Deanna gasped out.

Gabriel sighed.

"And I try so hard to please people."

"Why did you send me here?" Castiel demanded.

"Because this was the only way for me to keep you safe, baby bro. Your hunters...they were dead. It was the end of the world. The Morning Star was rising and there was nothing we could do. I saved you!"

Castiel growled impatiently.

"I know that. I want to know why you sent me _here_!"

Gabriel smirked.

"I'm not completely dumb ya know. I couldn't send you to a universe where you'd cancel out your own existence. You're here because this world doesn't have a Castiel. She..." He gestured to Deanna. "Doesn't have a trench coated angel on her shoulder. You're needed." He winked at Samantha who just raised an eyebrow in response. "Now as much as I hate to leave someone as gorgeous as you. I have a man to see about an alligator. Byeee."

* * *

Deanna wasn't quite sure when the angel became a part of their lives, just that he did. Castiel was trying to work out what his purpose was in this universe and seeing as he wasn't having any better ideas, he helped them on hunts. Gabriel popped in occasionally, but only to annoy Samantha. Deanna almost never saw him, for which she was extremely thankful.

"I'm confused."

"Alert the news networks." Deanna whispered. "The angel is confused."

Castiel's expression changed minutely from confusion to irritation. You could tell because his mouth moved slightly. Not that she was looking of course.

"Do you not have fake ID's? Pretend to be Federal Agents? Try to become presidents?"

Deanna snorted.

"Yeah, we do. Works all right on cops or anyone whose had PC training. But people in areas like this," She gestured around at the dilapidated neighborhood. "Guys mainly, take one look at me and Sam and start with the whole "Sweetcheeks" and "Aren't you in the wrong business?" routine. After Sam punched the guy the last time, we figured we'd work somethin' else out. So now we, and I mean Sam, work what we've got. People are much more likely to believe we work for health and safety or we're reporters or some crap."

"That is..."

"Dumbass stupid is the word you're looking for." Deanna sighed. "Sam would call it sexist or misogynistic but it's the same problem every other girl hunter out there has." She smirked suddenly. "But Sam's one of the best. Watch this."

Castiel frowned as Samantha flipped her hair over one shoulder, smiling prettily down at the man.

"Is physical contact necessary?" He asked as she ran one hand down the suspects shoulder.

"No. But making sure he can see down your top, is. All he sees are boobs and a smile and doesn't even realise she's pumping him for information."

Samantha handed over a card, backing away with a flirty "Call me."

"Urgh." She said, when she dropped into the car, Cas relocating to the back seat without getting up.

"Gimmie a hand wipe."

Deanna dutifully passed her a wet cloth and Sam started scrubbing her hands.

"Well he saw something all right. Heard weird noises at about eleven last night. Fits the profile."

"Right."

* * *

"What is wrong with your sister?" Castiel asked quietly.

Deanna glanced up from Samantha's laptop and flicked her sister a mildly sympathetic glance.

"Cramps." She whispered. Samantha threw a boot at her before she recurled into a ball, groaning. "Come on." She led Castiel outside and they sat on the curb.

"Do you go through this as well?"

Deanna chuckled.

"Nah. I'm on the pill. But Samantha reckons that's not good for you so she has to go deal."

"I could take the pain away." Castiel offered. Deanna gave him a strange look and shook her head.

"If I pray to Gabriel, will he hear me?"

Castiel nodded.

"He may not answer." He pointed out carefully. "I don't see why you would want to pray to him." He added, in a tone that sounded almost petulant.

Deanna winked at him.

"I have a plan." Castiel sighed heavily, which earned him a smile. She linked her hands and closed her eyes. "As I lay me down to sleep, Gabriel I hope you're listening, you tiny weirdo. It's Deanna, by the way. If you're really serious about making my sister happy, and I'm guessing you are by the way you're pulling on her pigtails, she could do with some pain removal and chocolate right about now. You know, rack up some brownie points." Deanna cracked open one eye and stared at Castiel. "That do?"

Castiel shrugged.

"Unorthodox, but it may work."

There was a loud expletive Deanna was impressed her sister knew, followed by a "What do you want?"

Either Gabriel must have coughed up the chocolate and the angelic mojo or Samantha had smote him with the sheer power of her bitchface, because her sister laughed in delight.

A small cupcake appeared in Deanna lap with a note pinned to the top.

"Heh, what do you know? Tricksters can say thank you." Deanna passed the cake to him. "Here. I'm really not willing to risk it."

"I thought you disapproved of Gabriel." Castiel sat the cupcake on the road in front of them and they both stared at it.

She sighed, running one hand through her hair.

"I do. But as much as I hate that cosmic douchebag, he makes Sam happy." Deanna shrugged. "After she lost Jess and then Dad died... I've seen her properly happy, what...twice? If I'm supposed to keep her from going off the deep end, then this is how I do it. I make her happy, give her a reason to be good. It'll be enough."

* * *

"DEAN!"

Deanna barreled around the door of the motel room, gun raised.  
"What the hell...Cas?"

Castiel watched her with an expression that was equal parts confused and scared.

"I was trying to manifest my wings."

Deanna stared at him.

"Well I'd say you managed that." She murmured, tucking her gun into the waistband of her jeans. "I guess you really are an angel then."

Castiel shrugged and it sent ripples across the long bands of feathers.

"Now what?" She asked, poking at one wing. Castiel twitched and almost caught her across the face with the tip of his feathers. "Watch it!"

"I'm sorry. I do not know how to control these." His wings seemed to pick up on his confusion because they began to thrash. Deanna ducked the next wing that came her way and then pounced, knocking them both to the floor and pining his wing joints beneath them. The wings stilled as Deanna stared down at him, grinning.

"Okay. How do you manifest your wings?"

Castiel blinked slowly.

"I will them into existence...oh."

He concentrated and the wings vanished again, leaving only a few stray feathers floating to the floor. Deanna smirked and used his chest to push herself upright, desperately trying to ignore how good it felt under her fingers.

She kept some of the feathers though.

* * *

Samantha appeared in their motel room at seven in the morning, wearing last nights clothes and a serious case of sex hair.

"Now there's a walk of shame." Deanna teased.

"Shut up!" Samantha moaned and collapsed onto her bed, kicking her shoes off as she went.

"What happened?" She asked, settling down by Samantha's feet.

"You don't want to know."

"Sure I do."

Samantha raised her head off the pillow to glare at her sister.

"I slept with Gabriel."

Deanna blinked.

"Huh." She said. "You were right." She watched her sister, unconsciously checking her for bruises. "Sam, he didn't hurt you did he?"

Her head jerked up again.

"What? No! He took me out for a date." She smiled. "It was nice. Normal."

Oh yeah, her sister's greatest turn on. Pretending she wasn't a hunter of the supernatural.

"Was it good?" She asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Yeah."

"Do you like him?"

There was a slight pause this time.

"Yes."

"Does he like you?"

"Yes?"

Deanna rolled her eyes.

"So what's the problem?"

Samantha sat up in bed and stared at her.

"Why aren't you mad about this?"

Deanna shrugged, picking at a hole in her t-shirt.

"If he makes you happy, then he makes you happy. I'm not such a bitch as to take that away. So again, what's the problem?"

"What if I've messed things up? He's thousands of years old, Dean. Why the hell would he stay with me?" Samantha babbled. "I'm a freak!"

"Oh for crying out loud."

Deanna got to her feet.

"GABRIEL!" She roared at the ceiling, dancing away from Samantha's attempt to strangle her. "GET DOWN HERE."

"Sometimes I get the feeling you really don't like me, Dean." Gabriel commented. "Samantha." He added, smiling.

Deanna rubbed at her eyes. It was too early for this.

"Do you like my sister?"

"Duh."

"Are you just stringing her along?" She asked tiredly.

Gabriel sobered somewhat.

"No."

Deanna nodded, meeting her sisters gaze over his shoulder.

"Will you look after her?" She asked finally.

For a second, Deanna saw Gabriel's wings manifest, a flicker of bright gold feathers, before he got his emotions under control.

"Yes." He said simply.

"Right." She grabbed her jacket, keys and wallet. "I'm going out. I'll be back in four hours and I want her conscious by then. Don't have sex on my bed."

* * *

Deanna was drunk. Really drunk. Drunk enough that the voice in the back of her head that sounded like Samantha at her bitchiest, wasn't quite loud enough to tell her that this was a bad idea. Castiel watched her warily as she sauntered towards him, whiskey bottle hanging from her fingertips.

"What's an angel like you doing in a place like this?" She asked, gesturing around the near deserted bar. She dropped the bottle onto the nearest table and closed the last few steps between them, swinging her hips as she did so. Castiel stared down at her, looking confused.

"Sam sent me to find you. She was worried about you. Dean, you are inebriated." He told her sternly.

"I know." She winked. "It's great." She smoothed the blue tie down so it lay flat against his shirt. "You know you've got this tied wrong." Deanna stepped closer so her feet were between his own and she was pressed against him. Castiel rested his hands on her hips to steady her as she swayed.

"Want me to help you take it off?" She offered, clenching her hands in the lapels of his trench coat to steady her as she stood up on her tiptoes. "Might as well take the rest off as well." She breathed against his lips.

"Dean..." He growled in warning.

Sobriety came like a slap in the face.

"Castiel, do you know who I am?" She asked quietly, settling back onto her heels.

"What do you mean?" He frowned at her.

"Do you know who I am?" She pressed.

"You're Dean Winchester..."

Deanna winced.

"Yeah. That's what I thought."

She stepped back, out of his arms and began to leave, knowing she was too drunk to drive and hating that she'd have to walk.

"I'm confused...Dean?"

"Cas, I'm not your Dean!" She yelled. "I'm never going to be _your_ Dean. No matter how much you pretend, we are not the same person!" She raised her hands defensively, backing away. "I'm just the damn substitute. I want you gone. Stay away from my family. Okay?"

* * *

"_Castiel get down here!_"

The unusually loud prayer cut through his head, causing him to start. Castiel frowned and followed Samantha's voice to a motel room. It had been a month since Deanna had told him to leave and although Gabriel told him that they were okay, he'd had no contact from either Winchester.

Samantha was facing off against her sister glaring with all she was worth. But it wasn't the tall brunette who held his attention. He was staring at Deanna, his sensitive nose picking up the pungent odor of sulpher.

"Why?" He asked, desperately.

Deanna's eyes flashed furiously.

"I did what I had to."

"Dean, I'm not worth this." Samantha's eyes filled with tears and she swiped them away viciously. "You didn't.."

"Don't you tell me that." Deanna hissed. "You are worth every damn year. No matter what happens to me _this was worth it_! So go to stop your damn archangel from blowing up the eastern seaboard."

Samantha stormed out and Deanna chugged at her beer bottle.

"You sold your soul." He stated morosely.

"I'm aware." She growled.

"Deanna, do you have any idea what you've done?" Castiel asked furiously.

"NO!" She shrieked. "I don't have any fucking idea what I've done, but I had to so something." She collapsed onto a chair. "She was dead, Cas. Dead with a damn hole in her stomach."

"I could have..."

"There was nothing you could do. I know. I asked Gabriel. I screamed his name and when he came I could just see it. She was gone and he couldn't do a _thing_! That tsunami? That was Gabe. He killed almost a thousand people because my sister was gone. So I did what I had to and I brought her back. It's my fault she's in this life and now she's got a way out." She flung the beer bottle end over end until it smashed into the wall. "So don't you question me on this. Don't you dare!"

"I won't be able to get you out." He told her softly.

Deanna flinched.

"I'm locked out of Heaven, I don't have the power to break you out of hell." The _again_ is unspoken but it hangs in the air anyway.

"I've got a year, Cas. Please don't make me squander it trying to kill you."

* * *

The real truth of what she'd done sunk in the next morning. She awoke to find Castiel standing at the foot of her bed holding up a slice of steaming, freshly made pie.

And he was there the next morning.

And the next.

And the next.

* * *

Gabriel doesn't prank her anymore. Instead he treats her with a reverence which frankly scares the shit out of her. She and Gabriel have an unspoken agreement, which goes along the lines of "_Protect Sam. No matter what, protect Sam._" Deanna knows her sister hates the whole knight in shinning armor crap, they both do, but she knows she's leaving her sister in safe hands.

* * *

Bobby is furious. He rants and rails, calls her an idgit more times than she can count. But in the end he hands her a shot of whiskey and gives her a nod of approval. He understands why she did it and he's proud of her. Somehow that makes the whole mess a bit better.

* * *

The angels are almost always with them these days. Gabriel would vanish occasionally to do his Trickster thing, but Deanna can tell he feels this whole thing could have been averted if he'd just been there. She, silently, agrees with him. Castiel goes with them on hunts, saves their lives a few times. Most nights Samantha and Gabriel get their own room, so it was usually just Deanna and Castiel. They stay up drinking whiskey and talking. He tells her of his life as an angel and she tells him about her childhood, about raising Sam, being caught stealing and being sent to Mama Tierny's Home for Wayward Daughters. How she got onto the school track team, had a date for the prom.

She made him watch marathons of Dr Sexy MD, which he interrupted with comments like, "I don't think that's anatomically possible." She would inevitably reply with a wink and a "I don't know. Wanna try?" which would send the angel into fit of blushing.

She'd fallen asleep next to him more nights than not and always woke up with his trench coat spread over her as a blanket, head pillowed on his chest. Angels didn't sleep, but it was comforting to know he watched over her at night. Kept the nightmares away.

He let her groom her wings, something she'd been dying to do since she saw them, straightening out the feathers he couldn't reach, and he always made a point of calling her Deanna, sounding out all three syllables of her name. He no longer talked about his old universe unless it was relevant to a case. They didn't mention Deanna asking him to leave, nor of the actions that led up to it. They were at an unspoken impasse, which neither one wanted to break.

* * *

At Deanna's insistence the angels flashed them to Bobby's for Christmas. They had to kill a few pagan gods first but that was the way things were for Winchesters. They had a tree covered in gaudy decorations (Gabriel), piles of glorious food (also Gabriel) and a angel wearing a trench coat perched precariously on the top branches (which Deanna kept). Even Samantha was tempted out from her research to join in the festivities.

* * *

Samantha...wasn't taking it well. She marched firmly under the banner of "Dean's not gonna die and no one is going to tell me otherwise." Deanna guessed that Samantha felt guilty. Well she didn't guess, she knew. Samantha had done everything but tell her directly, as she dedicated hour after hour to finding a way out of the deal. She had tried everything and became infuriated that Deanna wasn't doing more to encourage her. She suspected that her sister would have started consorting with demons if it wasn't for Gabriel's presence.

* * *

"Get behind me!" Castiel barked, brandishing his angel blade, his free hand pushing her towards the center of the salt circle. Around them invisible Hellhounds paced, claws leaving rents in the floorboards.

Deanna swallowed and slid her knife back into it's holster. She smiled at Samantha who shook her head in denial.

"Don't you dare, Deanna!" She begged. "Please..."

Deanna didn't brush away the tears coursing down her face.

"Sam, listen to me. You keep safe. Do that for me. Stay away from demons, monsters and go back to school. I love you, little sister." She gave a damp chuckle. "Look after her, Cas. Tell Gabriel to keep her safe."

"Deanna, I can hold them off." Castiel told her, blue eyes shining.

She gave an odd laugh, which sounded from more sheer terror than finding any humor in the situation.

"They're just going to keep coming." She said wearily. "I signed on for this. I won't spend my life on the run, Sam. I won't." She lifted her foot to step out of the salt circle and paused. "Might as well..." She whispered to herself. She reached out and grabbed Castiel by his tie. "Last five seconds on earth. I deserve a send off." She yanked him closer and covered his lips with hers, kissing him with everything she had. Castiel didn't hesitate to respond, threading his hands into her hair and pulling her tightly against his chest. It was messy and desperate and everything she had dreamed of for the last year.

She pulled back slightly and Castiel stared down at her, blue eyes wet and shining.

"Thanks." She murmured and shoved him back into Samantha, allowing her to step unimpeded out of the circle. The hell hounds were on her seconds and, to the sound of her sisters horrified screaming, Deanna Winchester was ripped to shreds.

* * *

_**A/N**_

_**I've been toying with the idea of doing a girl!Dean fic for a while and this is what we got. Let me know what you think.  
**_

_**There will be a second part to this, if people are interested. I'm not exactly going to leave her down there am I?**_

_**So review, PM or throw bricks, **_

_**Once again**_

_**Hood Out.**_

_**P.S DEMON DEAN ANYONE!**_


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